A CALL TO LEGS

Hello, all, Kandor here. As some of you may know, I have something of a reputation for having a very hard head and one stubbornly resistant to scissor submissions. I almost never give in to straight headscissor, i.e., thighs or calves locked across the ears, face, temples. Only when the adductors of the thighs or interior of the calves slice lower into the carotids do I run the danger of passing out (and have, on several occasions, being a stubborn, albeit stupid man). That said, I issue a challenge to all women with two legs (one would be hard to put on a scissors no?): Make me submit to a straight headscissors and I will give you one million dollars. Now that I have your attention, I'll be honest with you: If I had a million bucks to toss away, would I be running this website? I think not. But all attempt at humor and attention-getting aside, let's make it something I can afford, if only barely - 50 bucks.

Now I know what many are thinking, that any bodybuilder out there worth her steroids could easily make me submit to a straight-on headscissors. But I beg to differ. I'm telling ya, a headscissors on the head - not the neck - will not make me submit. I also know many are the female bodybuilders on the circuit who won't bother to take this challenge, figuring I'm just in it for a free squeeze, and they'd rather have me pony up the usual 300 bills for the honor of being crushed. And that's fine, but if I had 300 to toss around casually, not to mention a million, I'd do so gladly. But I'm a man of limited means (divorce will do that to a guy, ask any of the 60 percent of us out there paying through the ass for child support), so it's a pretty straightforward if not highly paying challenge.

And it's not limited to bodybuilders. If any woman is reading this, or more likely any woman's boyfriend, spouse, brother, uncle, significant other, etc., the same challenge applies (to the woman, that is, not the boyfriend, spouse, etc.). The lady puts me in a straight headscissors and gives it her best. I submit, she collects a quick 50 for very little work. She doesn't get a submission, I go home 50 to the good and a happy, scissored idiot!

Here's how it works: Any woman accepting this challenge has one full minute to work her leggy magic. You lock the thighs, entwine the ankles and go to work trying to mash my skull to paste or make me scream my submission. It's that simple. And naturally, we'll be taking pix of the blessed event for posterity - and the website. And by all means, anyone wanting to tag along, the woman's husband, friend, etc., is welcome to attend and maybe work the camera, if so inclined. So that's it, any lady reading this. Guys, if you know women who'd be into taking on this challenge, pass it along. Oh, one proviso. It has to be in the Greater Boston/Rhode Island area, southern New Hampshire at best. And any lady traveling in town, bodybuilder or otherwise, is welcome to contact me.

That's it, the call to legs is made, the gauntlet thrown down, the challenge issued. Have at this head, ladies, it's yours for the scissoring!! And please, only those 18 and over need apply. (Contact Kandor at kandor876@aol.com)